Parenting| Fantasy vs Reality

One of my favourite parenting quotes is 'I was the greatest parent, until I had kids.'
I thought I had it all figured out. My childless self would think ' ooh I wouldn't do it like that.'

These fantasy children were perfectly behaved, they never whinged and did exactly what I asked of them. Of course once I had children it was a completely different story.

1| Screen time

Fantasy
I always saw TVs and tablets as bad for children. I thought people who put their kids in front of the TV or gave their child a tab in a restaurant were just being lazy (what an arse!). I thought they should only play with toys that would stimulate them educationally and only ever read books.

Reality
Ok so even when my 2 were babies, TV has always been on in the background. They aren't always sat in front of it with their eyes glued to it but it's on. They are usually playing away, something will catch their attention so they stop and look but soon go back to playing. And Tablets? Yes, they have their own tabs. Do they sit on them all the time? No, but they are handy when I need to get things done around the house and I can't keep an eye on the kiddies. In a restaurant no one wants to hear screaming children, and telling them to be quiet doesn't work, ever (it's as if they know all eyes are on you). So I'd rather have a sweet, quiet child sat there on their tablet and we all get to enjoy a meal out. Plus they have actually learnt a lot from using apps.

2| Food

Fantasy
All meals would be fresh and home cooked, eaten with the whole family sat together at the table. Definitely no processed food and no junk food. McDonalds would never pass their lips. 

Reality
Ok so most meals are home cooked. I enjoy cooking for the family.
Do my children always eat those home cooked meals? No, they don't. What do they prefer? Yellow foods. Fish fingers, Chicken nuggets, chips. Do I serve them? Yes, I do. If I know they definitely won't eat what I'm cooking then I throw something that's quick to cook in the oven. There are worse things in life than going to bed with a tummy full of yellow food. Do we always sit at the table? Yes, that's one thing I insist we do. But its not like in my fantasy. The kids get up and down, they bicker, cutlery constantly dropping on the floor, toddler trying to feed the cats. But we're all sat as a family. A noisy, chaotic family. And McDonald's? Always works as a bit of bribery. 

3| Time with the children

Fantasy
Morning till night singing, playing, teaching and a trip outdoors everyday

Reality
Parenting, although absolutely brilliant, is tiring. I've never been so tired in my life. I still haven't quite worked it out either. Most days I'm under prepared and I spend time flapping about trying to find shoes, packing bags, grabbing dirty washing from under the beds, checking the time to see if it's lunch etc. Instead of an afternoon in the park, it's a trip to the supermarket. It's more about keeping that child clean, warm and fed than sitting and playing. Doesn't mean I don't play, the best bit is living out a part of my childhood over again, but sometimes you have other things to do. Parenting is none stop, morning till noon and then through the night, I love it, but I am human and sometimes yes, I do lock myself in the bathroom for 5 minutes to get time to myself. Does it work? Of course not! The kiddies spend the whole time banging on the door asking what I'm doing. Would I change it? Of course I wouldn't. (More sleep would be nice though)

4| Discipline

Fantasy
I thought I would be a really strict, no means no, no backing down parent. My word was final.

Reality
Sometimes my kids get away with things they shouldn't. Not the serious stuff. If it's going to break something or hurt someone then yes, strict mum shows her face. But kids are always testing the boundaries and if I picked them up on every little thing I would constantly be shouting. No one wants that. Not good for mum and not nice for the kiddies. Sometimes the children get their own way with me, for example:
No sweets before dinner- they cry- I stick to it. If they eat sweets they wont eat their dinner.
No screen time after school- they cry- I say ok then.
They've had a hard day, why not? Although only if there have been no issues at school.
Does that make me a pushover? Yes, sometimes it does but I try to pick my battles.
Plus they are too blimmin' cute to be cross with them. Sometimes what I would see as naughty, they have seen as totally innocent. When I go into the playroom and their little kitchen sink is full of water (plus it's soaked the carpet), to them they were making a cooking show. How can you be cross at that?

So I was completely naïve before my boys came along. I shake my head at myself. It's taught me never to judge other people. That shouty mum? She's probably getting through the day on 3 hours sleep and can't even think straight. The child that is running around the super market not doing a thing its mum tells them? Whilst some people might give disapproving looks, I just give a sympathetic smile because tomorrow it could be me who is the shouty mum with the naughty child.